Written by Alex Drude | 27 July 2012
I tend to think the same things while watching the Olympics. See if your list matches up to mine.
Things I will likely say while watching the games:
“This is a sport?”
“How is this an Olympic sport?”
“How is this an Olympic sport and baseball/golf/contract bridge isn’t?”
“I could totally do that.”
“I could medal in that if I had a week to prepare.”
“I could win that if I had two weeks.”
“I could’ve won that when I was five.”
“Ooooohhhhhhh . . . that hurts just to watch.”
“How can the human body do that?”
“Seriously, how did this get approved as an Olympic sport?”
“Why would anyone do this except on a dare?”
“I would never be able to do that, ever.”
“That is ridiculously impressive.”
“How did this sport even get invented?”
“I bet these are the only people who have ever played this.”
Things that will happen while watching the games:
I will become a fan of a US athlete I’ve never heard of as of today.
I will become a fan of an international athlete I’ve never heard of as of today.
I will root for at least one international athlete to win a gold medal over a US one (current odds-on favorite: Brianne Theisen).
I will become fascinated with a sport that I’ve heard of but never actually watched just because I can watch the best of the best compete for days and days (for the Vancouver Winter Olympics it was curling).
After ten minutes of watching some obscure sport I will then consider myself an expert and pass judgement on the athletes competing. “That was the worst half-twist-flip-kick-landing I’ve ever seen.”
If I have no one to root for in an event, I’ll root for the athlete whose country has the best-looking flag design (default: Australia).
I’ll root for an athlete because their uniforms are cool.
There will be at least one athlete from a country I don’t remember ever hearing existed.
After watching some obscure sport, I’ll say “That’s easy!” and try it and pull a muscle.
I’ll wonder why nobody told me I could have made the Olympics doing some weird sport when I was 12, because I would have actually practiced that one.